Inside

 Raging, rolling, doubling inward

Collapsing inside of itself

My feelings tell me I'm in crisis,

But I look around and everything is still.

How am I here? I feel like I'm somewhere else.

Peace comes and goes like it was never here,

The joy gone and replaced by cringing anxiousness,

I feel I have made a mistake.

What can I buy, what can I do, what can I fix,

To mend this error of mine?

I am not justified, and I must be,

Especially when I am as lonely as I am.

But I look around, and the air sighs,

Dust settling everywhere because there is no storm to roll in and upset it.

I blink and blink, processing my emotions,

But there's too many feelings and too much to do.

I dive under when the light comes out,

And I resurface, shaking, when the light has gone stale.

It feels to me like someone has gone and injected a syringe of burning agitation in my frontal lobe,

Tearing the peace out and letting the toxin spread.

What is it? Do I have to know?  Can I just be rid of it?

I am too old and have tried so many ways to heal that now there is nothing left but to pray, and follow what I know is best.

Still, even when the light goes stale and I have to turn in for bed, I have someone I can pray to who loves me, and cares for the outcome of my life.

I hope this piece of writing does not make you sad.  It is better to let the steam out than to hold it in.  I feel relieved.  

The Corner Girl ~